


Drift Apart

by leiasfate



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Illnesses, Ink, Kryptonite, Love, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pain, Sadness, Tattooed Kara, Tattoos, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-04 12:02:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14019822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leiasfate/pseuds/leiasfate
Summary: Kara recklessly got hurt on a mission. Mon-El, worried about her, and in an attempt to get her to take care of herself, got more information than he bargained for. Her heart was broken beyond repair.Set after 3x13.





	Drift Apart

“Supergirl, there’s a robbery on a warehouse near the port.”

Kara flew away from the DEO towards her target, ready to strike in the middle of the night.

As soon as she got there, she saw five men dressed in all black and masks, carrying a metal box out of the warehouse and into a truck that reminded her of Cadmus. She blasted the ground with heat vision, making them stop.

“You know it’s rude to take things without asking, right?”

The guys immediately fired their guns at her, with no effect. She landed throwing punches, making them all fall down to the floor.

She examined the box. It wasn’t metal. It was lead. She couldn’t see what was inside. Before she could tear it open, one of the men threw a grenade at her.

She instinctively covered herself with her arms, despite knowing it couldn’t hurt her. But she was wrong. The grenade released a green smoke, instantly making her throat close up.

It was Kryptonite.

She gasped for air, but she still couldn’t get any. It was like her chest was being pushed down by a million tons of weight. She needed to get out. Quickly.

“Supergirl, is everything okay?” Winn asked through the comms.

“W-Winn....” she struggled to speak, “bring the—“ gasp, “backup t-team. I-I can’t...”

“Kara, leave! Now!” Alex’s voice joined in.

She didn’t need to be told twice. She flew as fast as she could away from there, taking in a huge amount of air once she was up in the sky. She still felt dizzy, with a pounding headache.

As soon as she got to the DEO, she was being rushed in by Alex.

“Hey, are you okay? What happened? Can you breathe? Do you need to go to the med bay?”

She almost laughed, still recovering her breath. “I’m fine, Alex. Calm down.”

“But what happened?”

“They had a Kryptonite grenade.”

Her sister’s eyes widened. “How is that possible?”

“I don’t know. Did they get away?”

“No. Mon-El caught them. He’s coming back now.”

Of course it had to be him. He seemed to be everywhere. She couldn’t get her out of her mind for a second. He was always present in every aspect of her life.

She didn’t want to see him.

“Okay, I’m going to train for a little bit. Call me if something comes up.”

Alex held her back. “Wait. We should do a quick scan on you, to see if there’s any damage.”

Kara smiled reassuringly. “It’s okay, Alex, don’t worry. I’m fine.”

She didn’t mention that her lungs were burning. And that she was trying really hard to breathe normally. Everyone had so many things to worry about, the last thing they needed was to think she was sick. She ignored the pain. It would go away eventually.

She initiated a simulation in the training room, kicking and punching the robots with all her might. But after just a few minutes, she was tired. She had never, in all of her life, been tired. Yet she was gasping for air, and her lungs burned more than they did before. She sat on the floor, trying to calm down. Her vision blackened for a moment. She shook her head. It must have been an illusion.

The suit felt too tight for her body. She couldn’t breathe in it. She used super speed to change into a sports bra and workout tights, but she felt fatigued. She sat on the floor again, waiting for the pain to go away. It eventually would, right?

Cough. Cough. Cough. Another cough. She couldn’t stop it. She was bent forward, coughing uncontrollably. She tried to take deep breaths, almost chocking.

It finally stopped. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t tell anyone. She just had to wait. Nothing was wrong. Just wait.

She could hear the wheezing sound when she breathed. Suddenly, someone entered the room, and she got up to her feet, trying to act normal.

It was Mon-El.

_Oh, hell no._

He had a concerned look on his face. “Hey, Kara. Is everything okay here? I thought I heard something.”

She acted nonchalant. “Yes, everything’s fine. Did you catch the thieves? What were they stealing?”

“Yes, I caught them. I don’t know what they were stealing, though. J’onn and the other agents are looking into that right now.”

She noticed his gaze drifted towards her exposed abdomen. She wasn’t one to brag, but Alex often said that she had ‘abs of steel’. And seeing Mon-El staring at them made her whole body heat up.

The moment was interrupted by another cough attack. Mon-El worriedly rushed to her side. She coughed, and coughed, and coughed until the attack stopped. When she looked back at her hand, it was full of blood.

“Kara....”

“I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not!” She almost jumped at his exclamation. “What happened? You need to go to Alex. You’re literally bleeding out.”

“No. No one is going to Alex. I’m fine, it was just a Kryptonite grenade. The effects will go away.”

“It’s serious, Kara. I can’t leave you here knowing that you’re sick.”

“I’m not sick. It’s like you said before,” one side of her mouth quirked upwards, “I’m not your problem anymore.”

A flash of hurt crossed his eyes, but he looked away quickly, swallowing the lump on his throat.

She started coughing again, to no end. She leaned against the wall, feeling dizzy.

“Kara, please. You need to take care of that.”

She sighed. “Fine, I’ll go to the med bay. Call Winn.”

“Why Winn? Alex is a doctor. She will know what it is in an instant.”

“Alex doesn’t need to worry about me. She has a lot on her plate right now. I trust Winn.”

He looked like he was about to argue, but sighed. “Okay. Let me take you there.”

More awkward moments with Mon-El, great. So great. She wished they weren’t stuck in that situation. But she couldn’t change his feelings.

And that broke her heart.

He suddenly picked her up, carrying her on his arms.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m taking you there. You’re breathless.”

“I can walk, thanks. Put me down.”

“No.”

He was annoying her. She jumped out of his arms, and super sped to the med bay.

A few seconds passed before he got there too. “You’re going to make it worse.”

She ignored him and sat on the bed, waiting for Winn.

He looked like he’d been running when he arrived. “Kara, what is it?”

“It’s nothing. I just inhaled a little bit of Kryptonite. Mon-El is overreacting.”

Mon-El clenched his jaw, clearly annoyed. “I’m not overreacting. She was coughing blood just seconds ago. She’s pretending she has no problem breathing, but it hurts her even to inhale.”

Winn’s eyes went wide. “This is serious. I’m not a doctor, but I know the basics. Kara, put your arms up, I’m going to examine your ribs.”

As soon as she held her arms up, it was like the clock stopped ticking. She heard Mon-El’s breath hitch when he saw it. The tattoo on her ribs. She hadn’t wanted him to see it, because she knew he would recognize those words immediately, and feel more pity for her. He stared at it intensely. She wasn’t sure if he was getting a clear vision of the words.

She was brought back to reality by Winn’s fingers pressing on her ribs.

“Ahh! No, stop. Rao.” It hurt like hell. It was a kind of pain she had never experienced before.

Winn closed his eyes for a moment, worried. “Your lungs are swelled. You still have Kryptonite in your lungs. We need to take care of this, before the damage is permanent.”

“What do we do?” Mon-El asked, a frown on his face.

“There’s an oxygen tank over there.” He signaled to a door. “Bring it here. Kara needs oxygen therapy to overthrow the Kryptonite.”

She sighed. Rao, what mess had she gotten herself into? She despised being weak.

Mon-El came back with it, and Winn put a mask on her. Like, not the tubes that went through the nose. But the mask.

“Are you kidding me? This is ridiculous. Why not the tubes?”

She knew she looked like Darth Vader.

“Because you need intensive therapy right now. We’ll switch to the tubes later. And I’m going to get you an inhaler.”

She crossed her arms. “There’s no way in hell I’m going to use that.”

“Yes, you are. Unless you want me to tell Alex.”

“Ugh. Can I leave at least? I’m not risking her walking into me like this.”

“Not yet. You were dizzy, so you have to wait like an hour. Don’t worry, I’ll keep her occupied. And don’t think you’re not taking the tank with you. You need to continue your therapy.”

He left, and she was alone with Mon-El. Again.

He took hesitant steps closer to the bed, and sat beside her.

“Kara,” his voice was hoarse, “I— Rao, you scared me. When I saw the blood on your hand, I almost fainted. Don’t brush off your pain, please. It could be serious, like right now. You’re not a burden. Alex cares about you. Winn cares about you. J’onn. Everyone does, not just because you’re Supergirl, but because you’re Kara Zor-El, the girl with the golden heart. And I care about you. A lot. So don’t ever think you could be an issue to anyone. Please.”

Kara didn’t know what to say. She was stunned into silence. Her heart started racing. It was moments like those, when Mon-El said he cared about her, when he said beautiful things, that she wanted to kiss him. Desperately. But she couldn’t. Instead, tears formed in her eyes, falling down her cheeks.

She couldn’t love him. He was out of her reach. Too far away from her. They were, quite literally, worlds apart. Mon-El, the one she would love for all eternity, was gone. He was married to someone else. He _loved_ someone else. She didn’t know if the pain on her heart was worse than the pain on her lungs. A part of her wanted him to go away, so she didn’t have to suffer anymore. But another part wanted him to stay, just to see him.

She wiped her tears before he got the chance to. She couldn’t handle that.

Mon-El had been all she had. She’d lost everything. And then he came along. He filled her heart with the warmth and joy she never thought she would feel again. He was her light. But the light faded away. He was gone.

She had nothing.

“Kara, what is that?” He asked softly. “Your tattoo?”

There was no point in hiding it. He’d already seen it. More tears threatened to fall from her eyes. But she held them back.

She shifted to lay on her left side and put her arm up so he could see the ink on her ribs. A phrase in Kryptonian.

“You know Kryptonian, right?” She asked rhetorically. She already knew he did.

When he saw it, he gasped. One of his hands clenched into a fist.

 _“Rraop nim fis khuhtov zhor.”_ He read it out loud, holding back a sob.

“You’ll be in my heart.” She said it in english.

“Kara... how did you get this?” Oh no. He was crying. She hadn’t intended to make him cry. Maybe it was because he sympathized with her? She wouldn’t dare hope something else.

She tried to remain calm. “There’s a tattoo parlor on the alien bar. I used a red sun grenade so they could do it. I have three.”

“I said those words to you. When I— When I was leaving.”

“I know. And I knew it was true. I had you in my heart too.”

“I still have you in my heart, Kara. You never left it.” He sniffed, his face wet with tears. “I’m sorry for causing you pain. I wish I hadn’t...”

“Don’t apologize. Please. That makes it worse. Just... don’t talk about it.”

She didn’t need another reminder of what she’d lost. She knew it damn well.

He inhaled deeply. “What are your other tattoos?

“I have a compass on the back of my neck. And the other one... is on my ankle.”

She couldn’t tell him what the one on her ankle said. It would break her. Every time she read it, it made her cry.

“Can you show me?”

“I’d rather not.”

“Please?” How could she say no to him? With that broken voice? When he pleaded?

He truly was her undoing.

She showed it to him, closing her eyes. She didn’t want to see his face when he read it.

_Mahn Ehl._

His name in Kryptonian. She had it on her ankle, as a reminder of him. To never forget him.

_Mahn Ehl._

She kept her eyes shut, waiting for him to say something, anything. After what felt like eternity, she heard him sob. And she heard his footsteps as he walked away.

_Mahn Ehl._

She opened her eyes again, to find herself alone. He really left.

She took the mask off her face, and angrily threw it to the floor. She didn’t care about the burning sensation on her lungs. She started crying, and sobs made her shake uncontrollably. It was more difficult to breathe.

She wished she could scream. She wished she could tear the world apart because of her pain.

_Mahn Ehl._

He didn’t love her. He didn’t. He cared about her, but not in the way she wanted. Not in the way she hoped. Her heart had been shattered into many pieces, and she couldn’t glue it together again. Not that time. She was really broken.

He broke her. And she broke herself by making that decision. But she couldn’t have lived herself if she hadn’t.

But she also couldn’t live with herself when she made it.

Mon-El was lost to her. She lost him. She brought it upon herself. He felt as distant as a galaxy. Many light years beyond her reach.

  
It hurt like hell.


End file.
